Floodgates

The floodgates opened and there was a river
Flowing through me with a dull precision
It left me feeling nauseous
And handcuffed by a lack of ambition
Drugs and daytime television
Dividing like light through a prism
A thousand individual parts I couldn't process

And I was lying in the backseat
I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines

And after the smoke cleared
Opened my eyes and I was still here
I was certain I was a goner
It shoulda been me on the table
With the wires and the cables
I'll do anything it takes if you stay here
Just a little while longer

And I was lying in the backseat, I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines
And I was lying through my teeth
Always saying it would be alright
Still feeling your fingers on my spine

And when the floodgates closed
And I was back in my darkened home
Feeling more depleted than I ever have
But instead of crying
Whenever I think of dying
It only makes me laugh

And how can I explain it to you
When I don't understand it myself?

And I was lying in the backseat, I was trying to find
New words for the same repeating lines
And I was lying through my teeth
Always saying it would be alright
Still feeling your fingers on my spine