Moving Day

[Intro]
Aw crap
Oh fine
God damn it
Saturday, sure
My god, what have I done

Move his stuff
Move his stuff
Move his stuff
Move his stuff

[Verse 1]
Staring at the wall, what have I committed to?
A sacred social pact, something you cannot undo
Friendship maintenance and guilt forms a moving crew
If I do not help you move then you won't help me move

[Breakdown 1]
You told us all to be here right at noon yet you are still packing and
Guilty of betrayal number one
We're working but you have been slacking

[Chorus]
Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again

[Verse 2]
You hoard all your useless crap you refuse to donate to Goodwill and
I sacrifice my weekend to wading through your forsaken loot and
We repeatedly ask "What is this? Where's this go? What do you do with this?"
I now descend down the stairs prone all alone in the spider basement

[Chorus]
Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again
Up and down and up and down I wish that you were not my friend

[Verse 3]
What is all this pointless shit you kept
Ugly lobster tongs from your Uncle Jeff
Curse your box that's overstuffed with textbooks you forgot exist

Oh shit, woah
This is fun

[Bridge 1]
It's moving day
Nothing says "Thanks, buddy"
Like a $5 Little Caesars Hot and Ready
It's moving day
Nothing gives life meaning
Like doing heavy lifting all day and sneezing
It's moving day
Nothing says commitment
Like the friend with the truck that couldn't make it
It's moving day
I just love getting splinters
Then whacking my shins before smashing my fingers

God damn it, ow
Two more trips
We got this

Move his stuff
Move his stuff
There's more stuff
So much stuff

[Verse 4]
Flinch from that dog that barks every freakin' time you pass by it
And we disagree, please tell me, how do you move a goddamn plant
Drip on my head now it rains and I'm wet, the boxes are ripping and
Spilling all your cables kneeling down, on the ground
Now my shoes are all squishy

[Chorus]
DVI and VGA, S-Video and RCA
USB 1, 2, and 3, mini, micro, A and B
40-pin IDE, a wired mouse from ‘93
Broken parts you can’t replace, ya better keep ‘em just in case

[Breakdown 2]
Guilty of betrayal number two
All the restaurants closed and it's too late for food

[Interlude]
You disappeared two hours ago
Come back and now you smell like reefer
Dude, I'm about to beat you to death with this vacuum cleaner

[Bridge 2]
It's moving day! So glad it's raining
I'm hauling your junk as you stand there complaining
It's moving day! Well, this is a treat!
The sun's gone down and there's nothing to eat!
It's moving day! Betrayal number three
You exaggeratted how quick this would be
It's moving day! Havin' so much fun!
It's 1:00 am and we're still not done

[Breakdown 3]
Moving a couch
Moving a couch
Hold on a second, I'm losing my grip
Moving a couch
Moving a couch
Ow, ow, you're crushing my hand
Moving a couch
Moving a couch
We're moving a couch
Ugh, let's stop for a second
Should we take the legs off
Should we take the door off
No no no, just tilt it a little that way
No, my right, not—not your right
Tilt it up and twist it, like
No
Cool, we put another hole in the wall
Well, kiss that deposit goodbye
Fuck that door, we didn't need it anyway

Break out the chainsaw
Gonna cut it in half
One love seat's now two recliners
I'll set all your stuff on fire

[Outro]
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Furniture
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Watch it burn
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Old apartment
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
New apartment too
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Hey, do you need both of these blenders
Burn it to the ground
Burn it to the ground
'Cause I really need a blender
I really like smoothies, I saw a sweet recipe online
I wanna try it, my blender's broke
You have two, doesn't make any sense