Adulting

I don't wanna adult today
Things to fix
Bills to pay
I just wanna stay in bed
Playing video games
But instead...
I gotta get up
Go to work
Put on my pants
Iron my shirt
Warm up my car
Did I get gas?
Sit in traffic
This jerk won't let me pass
I've had enough adulting
No more being grown up for me
Let the bills pile up to the ceiling (in PJ's)
Playing Super Mario 3
No

I can't do that
I gotta do the thing
(But I don't wanna do the thing)
But you gotta do the thing
(I'm not gonna do the thing!)

Adulting is suffering
And suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be
The purest form of misery
I don't wanna do stuff
Doing stuff is stupid
A meaningless existence
Doing stuff to live
To have to do more stuff

You must renew your license plate
Utilities need to be paid
Stop

I need a break from the stress
Taxes overdue
Car needs an emissions test

I can't take it anymore
Filthy bathroom floor
And I gotta go to the store

Going to the store is such a bore...
Paying bills has no thrills!
Putting on pants is a torturous dance
Being an adult is the worst kind of cult

I'm done with adulting
No more being grown up for me
I'm gonna call off work
Third day in a row
Eatin' chicken strips
Playin' Battletoads

I'm done with adulting
No more responsibility
I'm out of food and money
But I gotta finish season 3

And they fired me
I gotta find a job
I don't wanna get a job
But you gotta get a job
I don't want another job
Spruce up your resume
I hate job hunting
Shave your beard
No

Adulting is suffering
And suffering is not for me
Adulting has got to be
The purest form of misery
I don't wanna job hunt
Job hunting is stupid
A meaningless existence
Work a job to live
To have to work a job

I refuse to get a job
Or do adulting stuff
I'd rather...
Erect a couch-cushion fortress
Have a staring contest with my cat
Sergeant Snuggles
Re-watch all 121 episodes of "Lost"

Still don't get it
Fall asleep with the lights on
Eat ramen straight out of the pack
Let the dishes attract fruit flies
Make a YouTube page for
Sergeant Snuggles

Look, Sergeant Snuggles, a comment! *meow*

Why are you making videos of your cat?
Aren't you unemployed?

*hiss* I've had it
Don't you dare judge me
Been told since birth
To follow my dreams
You're looking at it
I'm living the dream
The lifetime pursuit of
Absolutely nothing
The pursuit of nothing
The pursuit of nothing

I don't wanna human today
No more brushing teeth
Let them decay
Haven't showered in over a week
I don't even
Wanna think
Just leave me here in bed
Pull the covers over my head
Let the world think I'm dead
'Cause I'm gonna...
*snore*

I'm finished with adulting
No more being grown up for me
Sergeant Snuggles' YouTube page
Has a billion views
So I'm gettin' paid
Give up on adulting
You just gotta follow your dreams
Don't need a job
Or any skills
When your kitty cat
Can pay the bills

Sergeant Snuggles
Passive income