upgrades downgrades

Wanted to tell you this since I was ten
Never knew exactly how and when
A lot has happened between now and then
That kicks the wheels from under strongest men
There's a lot that I could say about you
Or how I'm far away in life but always thinking bout you
I'm sorry for all the times I yell, it's not your fault
It's hard to let stuff in when suffocating in my thoughts
You know - I've always been emotional but things got worse
And lately I've been thinking I don't know how living works
It's kind of sad to see how popular it is to hurt
Cuz when they buffed the victims in us
Why the hell the aid got nerfed?
Fire's burning all around
Ashes falling to the ground
Someone save me, set me free
Smoke, it settles on my skin
Don't play with fire, you'll never win
Someone save me, help me breathe
I was so proud when I got shoes that cost you thirty dollars
Now I see how stressful people get when they got money problems
It makes me think about the time
We saw a Batman figure at the store and all that sprung in mind
Was that I wanted it
Didn't think what you must feel inside
So when we left the store without it, couldn't help it so I cried
I love the truth but lie a lot
I'm here but never find a spot
I swear I died a while ago
And thought that I was fine with it
Obviously not
I love you mom, in every argument and spin off
And the way I lose my mind and you remind me I'm a winner
But most of me was gone that day
And every time I think I found my way
The night just shoves me deeper into fade
And I got no-one left to blame but me
Fire's burning all around
Ashes falling to the ground
Someone save me, set me free
Smoke, it settles on my skin
Don't play with fire, you'll never win
Someone save me, help me breathe
I just had to make this or I would never forgive myself
Life is upgrades stuck in downgrades
Take shots, make time
Make shots, take time
Goodbye