The Thing

While I was walkin' down the beach one bright and sunny day
I saw a great big wooden box a-floatin' in the bay
I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise
Ooh, I discovered a, right before my eyes
Ooh, I discovered a, right before my eyes

I picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king
I took it to a guy I knew who'd buy most anything
But this is what he hollered at me as I walked in his shop
"Ooh, get out of here with that, before I call a cop"
"Ooh, get out of here with that, before I call a cop"

I turned around and got right out, a-runnin' for my life
And then I took it home with me to give it to my wife
But this is what she hollered at me as I walked in the door
"Ooh, get out of here with that, and don't come back no more"
"Ooh, get out of here with that, and don't come back no more"

I wandered all around the town until I chanced a meet
A hobo who was lookin' for a handout on the street
He said he'd take most any old thing, he was a desperate man
But when I showed him the, he turned around and ran
Oh, when I showed him the, he turned around and ran

I wandered on for many years, a victim of my fate
Until one day I came upon St. Peter at the gate
And when I tried to take it inside he told me where to go
Get out of here with that, and take it down below
Oh, get out of here with that, and take it down below

The moral of this story is, if you're out on the beach
And you should see a great big box, and it's within your reach
Don't ever stop and open it up, that's my advice to you
'Cause you'll never get rid of the, no matter what you do
Oh, you'll never get rid of the, no matter what you do