Major Joe
Well did you ever come to know about the deeds of Major Joe
He kept a profile that was low but his heart beat loud and strong
Whoever wondered where to go or if the word was yes or no
They'd just go ask Major Joe and he'd sing to them this song
What is fair? What is right?
Do you think you will sleep good tonight?
Is it time to run or time to fight?
You gotta know just where you stand
You might have guns to make the peace
But your words are how you show your teeth
So what do you say when you speak?
Come tell all that you've planned
To Major Joe, and then we'll know
How the rapids flow, and which way to go
Joseph Wilson came to be in Perthshire in 1818
He left Scotland at fourteen for a fate that was not sure
In September 1843 he took over from his daddy
The free port of Sault Ste. Marie as the Customs Officer
He very soon became the man who sorted out time and again
All tangles where he found them like a father to his own
There was no jail a way back then so wrongdoers were sent to stand
Inside the fence found on his land 'till Major Joe got home and asked them
What is fair? What is right?
Do you think you will sleep good tonight?
Is it time to run or time to fight?
You gotta know just where you stand
You might have guns to make the peace
But your words are how you show your teeth
So what do you say when you speak?
Come tell all that you've planned
To Major Joe, and then we'll know
How the rapids flow, and which way to go
In the first year of his residence came a visit from Chief Shingwaukonse
For three long hours the air was tense as he questioned where Joe stood
In 1845 suspense came with an American offence
When Theophilus aimed to make his fence with some nice Canadian wood
Theophilus he coaxed and warned but Major Joe just scowled and scorned
And left the American forlorn, wood-less and amazed
Later that day as it grew warm Joe crossed the river as was the norm
And when he refused to please conform they jailed him for three days
What is fair? What is right?
Do you think you will sleep good tonight?
Is it time to run or time to fight?
You gotta know just where you stand
You might have guns to make the peace
But your words are how you show your teeth
So what do you say when you speak?
Come tell all that you've planned
To Major Joe, and then we'll know
How the rapids flow, and which way to go
In the 1860s Irishmen in America called Fenians
Planned to attack Canadians to provoke the British crown
So Major Joe the Scottish man organized militiamen
And he prepared them to defend his beloved frontier town
With no attackers on the way Joe had his men clean up and they
Soon found a little wet cache, a priest's keg full of wine
The men assailed their liquid prey and soon they all began to sway
When Joe came back later that day no soldiers could he find
Just a bunch of Canadian boys who could not answer
What is fair? What is right?
Do you think you will sleep good tonight?
Is it time to run or time to fight?
You gotta know just where you stand
You might have guns to make the peace
But your words are how you show your teeth
So what do you say when you speak?
Come tell all that you've planned
To Major Joe, and then we'll know
How the rapids flow, and which way to go