There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just

Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman
From that moment, you'll be out of place and underdressed
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and

When you're in black slacks with accentuating off-white pin-stripes whoa oh
Everything goes according to plan

I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain
And I bet you just can't keep up (keep up) with, with these fashionistas
And tonight, tonight you are, you are the whispering campaign
I bet to them your name is cheap, I bet to them you look like shh
Talk to the mirror, oh choke back tears, and keep telling yourself that
"I'm a diva"
Oh, and the smokes in that cigarette box
On the table, they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it
Because you say so under your breath
You're reading lips, "When did he get all confident?"
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better and you can't stand it

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like a night out
With no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like a night out
With no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch

And I know, and I know it just doesn't feel like a night out
With no one sizing you up
I've never been so surreptitious
So of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch