This Is Not Really Happening

[Verse 1]
Should've seen it coming, should've known that something's wrong
But now I'm sitting as I watch you pull the pin out of a bomb
And toss it to me
Please don't do this to me
Picking at the seams and gripping tightly to the couch
Your grandma gave when we moved in, I couldn't wait to throw it out
Now it'll always
Be where my world caved in

[Chorus]
Oh, help me, this is not really happening
It's just too overwhelming
Tell me it's not what it seems
This is all just a dream
Oh, God, is this what You had in mind?
It's not supposed to be like this
I'm mad and I'm sad
Afraid and ashamed
I don't know what to say
I'm not okay, is that okay with You?

[Verse 2]
Maybe I misheard, please let me think, just give me time
My calculations and projections and my plans arе always right
What are You saying?
Can you explain it again?
Everything is finе, it will be fine, I swear I'm fine
And if I keep repeating lines, then maybe by the hundredth time
That I say it
I can make it true

[Chorus]
Oh, help me, this is not really happening
It's just too overwhelming
Tell me it's not what it seems
This is all just a dream
Oh, God, is this what You had in mind?
It's not supposed to be like this
I'm mad and I'm sad
Afraid and ashamed
I don't know what to say
I'm not okay, is that okay?

[Bridge]
Emotions play chaotic games
And claim my mental real estate
I can't, it's too hard
And I'm falling apart
Does that mean I don't have enough faith?
I've tried and tried
So God, why can't I pray this all away?

[Chorus]
Oh, help me, this is not really happening
It's just too overwhelming
Tell me it's not what it seems
This is all just a dream
Oh, God, is this what You had in mind?
It's not supposed to be like this
I'm mad and I'm sad
Afraid and ashamed
I don't know what to say
I'm not okay, is that okay with You?