The Flood

Living is one of the most
Terrifying things for me
To hear the ones I love and
Care about say things like
How happy I make them and how they
See all these positive things within me
Because I feel it's within human
Nature to hurt one another
No matter how hard you try not to
And I know, no matter what
I'll always end up hurting someone
Because no one is just like you
They all hurt people just by thinking you're
Failing in a different way than them
And I know that doesn't make you a
Bad person but I don't ever
Wanna imagine hurting the people I care
About just by being myself
So it makes me think maybe
I should just push you
All away and cut all ties
And admire from afar
But you say that I'll just hurt worse
And to be honest
I couldn't push you away even if I try
So I'm sorry if one day I'm not good enough

I have something to say, I pushed it
Back in my mind for so long
Always biting my tongue
Always running away, constantly, forever
Like a pendulum swinging
And I don't know who swung me
This way but I hate this
This feeling of emptiness
I could be just like you
But I'd rather die than live
A long life without meaning

Was I born to fail in life?
Or was I just born to try?
Don't try to tell me what
To believe when you
Believe in the things that make you so weak
Because even when I open
My eyes, everything's black
Everything's empty to the world
Put this chip on my shoulder
That I chose to let
Myself 'cause of the way that I see things
I don't know
I don't care because it doesn't matter
At the end of the day
As much as I hate to admit it
I just wanna smile, I just want love