ambivalence

They want the old me but i don't like him
They want the old me no i don't like him
They want the old me but i don't like him
No, no, no, i fucking hate him

They want the old me but i don't like him
They want the old me no i don't like him
They want the old me but i don't like him
No, no, no, i fucking hate him

I see my dreams up in the ceiling
How does love feel? Shit, i don't know that feelin
I'm on my dark shit, yea, on that hate shit
I'm going crazy maybe that is my fate
I hate myself but i'm never gonna change
No i wont let 'em control, now i'm feelin kinda strange
Cause if you hate the way you are you would wanna change
But i show no signs of that, maybe i should rearrange

Why can't i be like everybody else
This shit feelin like a gift and a curse
I got the gun in my mouth
I'm heading all to the south
So they wont find me all dead
They say its all in my head
But i know what they all said
And i've been thinking bout it
It got me full with the doubt
This shit makes me wanna shout
I've lost my track, cannot count
I put an end to my pain so i wont do it again
I put an end to my pain so i wont do it again

They want the old me but i don't like him
They want the old me no i don't like him
They want the old me but i don't like him
No, no, no, i fucking hate him

I don't even know myself, do i mean the shit i say?
Every time i feel regret, do i have to be this way?
Every time i fuck it up, sometimes wish i would've stayed
Tried to go back to that place, by that time it had decayed

Now i'm singing all these songs talking that i wanna die
Cannot fix the things i did, all i can do now is cry
Tryna forget all the things, so i'm always getting high
No ones watching over me, so i'm looking at the sky

I see my dreams up in the ceiling
How does love feel? Shit, i don't know that feelin
I'm on my dark shit, yea, on that hate shit
I'm going crazy maybe that is my fate
I hate myself but i'm never gonna change
No i wont let 'em control, now i'm feelin kinda strange
Cause if you hate the way you are you would wanna change
But i show no signs of that, maybe i should rearrange

Why can't i be like everybody else
This shit feelin like a gift and a curse
I got the gun in my mouth
I'm heading all to the south
So they wont find me all dead
They say its all in my head
But i know what they all said
And i've been thinking bout it
It got me full with the doubt
This shit makes me wanna shout
I've lost my track, cannot count
I put an end to my pain so i wont do it again
I put an end to my pain so i wont do it again