Don't Make Fun of the Fair
We're proud to say in every way
We're ordinary folk
But please observe
We still preserve
Our sturdy hearts evoke
Although we're servants of the state
We may have been coerced
As we've been told to celebrate
We'll celebrate or burst
Though while we brag
Our shoulders sag
Beneath a heavy yoke
We all get terribly heated
If it's treated as a joke
Oh don't make fun of the festival
Don't make fun of the fair
We darn rotten british
Must learn to be skittish
And give an impression of devil may care
To the wise wise world
We'll sing god for harry
And if it turns out alright
Knight gerald barry
Clear the national decks my lads
Everyone of us counts
Grab the travellers cheques my lads
And pray that none of them bounce
Face the future and his maid
And pray for further marshal aide
Have the toast from cavel-cade
Drastically re-written
Peace and dignity we may lack
But wave a jolly trade unions jack
Hooray for the festival
We've never been
Exactly keen
On showing of our swank
But as they say the gay display
Means money in the bank
We'll make the dreadful welcome ring
From
And cheer and shout and laugh and sing
Before we cut our throats
We know we're caught
But must support
This patriotic prank
And though we'd rather have shot ourselves
We've got ourselves to thank
Oh don't make fun of the festival
Don't make fun of the fair
We must pull together
In spite of the weather
That dampens our spirits
And straightens our hair
Let the people sing
Even though they shiver
Roses red and noses mauve
Over the river
Though the area is fairly small
Take a snooze in a concert hall
At least it's warmer than home
Blow your trumpets
Roll your drums
Cross your fingers
Hold your thumbs
Even if nobody comes
Don't be
If no oversees raid appears
We'll have to work for a thousand years
To pay for the festival
don't make fun of the festival
Don't make fun of the fair
We must have a look at the cookery book
To prevent us from spreading alarm and despair
We can serve whale steaks
When the weathers hotter
What's wrong with otter
Learn to dance in the dark
Build the sunday observers boys
A shrine in battersea park
Prance about in funny hats
Show the foreign diplomats
That our
Milder than a kitten
We believe in the right to strike
But know we bloody well got to like
Our own darling festival
Hooray for the festival
We'll pay for the festival