Became So Sweet

I don't seem to recall waking up
When you passed me the
Bucket and I let out my guts
There were red litanies and
Prayers of lying here forever
With lust and alcohol all mixed
Up together
No I've not looked upon there last 2 years
With clearer
Solecism or clever tears
More men have seemed to have
Taken my mind and my body
Than the thoughts of dying and
Becoming somebody
And I wanna, write to you, recite it to you
Before I, fight with you
Please. You seem to have come out of
Nowhere and started
Up a fight between us
The ones that redeemed us
Are no longer here
Between our nights round the fire, so
Many pills and thrills and musings
On how long our youth
Will, hold us up before making us
Ill and then, crumble
Beneath our facilitating will
No I'd never seen so many lights
Incidentally I sold my soul
Beneath those lights and every circle
Seemed to be a line
Are we fine? Are we searching
For a wall to beam us up
Black devil won't you beam me up now
Hurricane now feed us love
Somewhere in the middle of these dreams
I became, I became, I became so sweet
There was a child behind your soul
Making your eyes look doughy
I always fantasised about painting your body
An immaculate sculpture, a totem
Like a tiger on a rainbow
Swooning over these shiny romanticisms
Then I wake myself up, I make myself up
'Cause maybe the mate of a soul
Is not as real as hole inside of your heart
Inside of your mind and
I'm longing for this richness to find
Comfort, wrapped around his words
Wrapped around his eyes, his anger, his truth, his cries and I
Created this minefield
And I wash away every plea to become a scene cause I
Started up in a fucked up fashion
And ended up wanting to be his housewife but
I made my mind up ten years ago and I made
Such a beautifully strange life
Because, here I am and I got the sun in my hand
I got the prospect of really becoming
Not like the films or the songs or the ideals I made up
I wanna a wall to beam me...