(I Don’t Like Your) Country Music

Now here's a little something
For all you country loving boys and girls out there
Just having a good time, pick the boots a-talking
You know when I was just a little pretty boy
My own grandfather sat me high on his shoulder
He could take me right away for this little old song
And that's how I come out, got a fat eye, some old lace

I don't like your country music
I'm gonna have to refuse it
It's got a noise that's boring me to tears
I get a headache when I hear it
I can't stand being anywhere near it
It's bad, they cannot sing, who's in here?

Well I'll take your mandolin
And I'll wipe away your grin
I'll bring the goddamn thing down on your head
And if that don't do the trick
Well I'll take your fiddling stick
And I'll stick the damn thing somewhere else instead

I don't like your country music
I'm gonna have to refuse it
It's got a noise that's boring me to tears
I get a headache when I hear it
I can't stand being anywhere near it
It's bad, they cannot sing, who's in here?

With your steel guitar
You think you're going far
But there ain't no distance far enough from me
So take it round the back
Of someone else's shack
Or break its back across your goddamned knee

I don't like your country music
I'm gonna have to refuse it
It's got a noise that's boring me to tears
I get a headache when I hear it
I can't stand being anywhere near it
It's bad, they cannot sing, who's in here?

Well I need a quiet dream
But I can hear them so fine
But that hot picking banjo's pretty wild
And on the radio
All I heard was do-si-do
Till I kicked the do-si damn thing outside

I don't like your country music
I'm gonna have to refuse it
It's got a noise that's boring me to tears
I get a headache when I hear it
I can't stand being anywhere near it
It's bad, they cannot sing, who's in here?

There ain't gonna be any better
It's true, we're all peasants
Good old Moses, he'll see me to my prayer
Carve upon my stone
When I'm finally alone
It'll be a little goddamn piece
"Was all he craved"