Just Once
[Hook]
Just once, I don’t want to hump tonight
Why can’t we hang out and talk?
Pie is a delightful treat (ooh)
Let’s share a slice together
Then you and I can say goodnight
And wander into a dream
[Verse 1]
Just once, I don’t want to kiss and hug tonight
On the rug by the side of some firelight
Glass of wine, soft music, the whole nine yards
You shuffle Kama Sutra Illustrated tarot cards
You sing, “Tough luck, buddy, this is your fate.”
Then you render prediction: that you and I are to mate
That it’ll be great. You point out: it always is
So I should take off my clothes, so you can give me the biz
I say Ms., please tarry, desist for a spell
You know that you’re my very number one mademoiselle
And I’m luckier than I can describe
To have a woman of your caliber ever give me the eye
Still, try to see it from my position:
You have such a high sexiness coefficient
And though the flesh is willing, my spirit is weak
I keep imagining an evening when I don’t get freaked
[Hook]
Just once, I don’t want to hump tonight
Why can’t we hang out and talk?
Pie is a delightful treat (ooh)
Let’s share a slice together
Then you and I can say goodnight
And wander into a dream
[Verse 2]
Why can’t we just hold hands at the cinema?
We hump twice in the handicap stall, minimum
Before the previews roll, then the popcorn, hole
In the bottom. Subtleties: these are not ‘em
The keys: glad I brought ‘em. You’re cuffing yourself
To the custodial closet’s utility shelf
Futility melts into purpose: I play the warden one more time
You’re inordinately fine
Now by my measurements, you’ve had a few O’s
Why don’t we just treasure it, cuddle and rub noses
Put clothes on and on and don’t stop till we’re totally clad
Then my soul could be glad
To have a moment in your company without all the moans
Maybe replenish some ATP, settle our bones
Dulcet tones: share feelings, ideas, and views
How come you want me for my body when my brain is so huge?
[Hook]
Just once, I don’t want to hump tonight
Why can’t we hang out and talk?
Pie is a delightful treat (ooh)
Let’s share a slice together
Then you and I can say goodnight
And wander into a dream