80085

Last time I had a math class, there wasn't any internet
Invented yet. That isn't on the level but I'll try to pique your interest
With half-truths and lies
As ever, MC Frontalot feigns innocence and denies
I won't admit it. You can't make me say it:
That I dropped Calc B more than a year before Mosaic
Oh no now it's out, now it's shouted from the balconies:
That Frontalot's about to be engaging in some alchemy
I'll turn a string of operands into some smut
If that sort of thing's offensive to you keep eyes shut
Or better yet, don't even enter, into calculator, song
But if you're ready to be titillated, follow along

Ready? Go. Eighty women went to the podiatrist
Arrive: simultaneous. Soon the scene's riotous
Nine just leave. Those in the difference persevere
Packing up the lobby very tightly, domineered
By one Sally Gorey (that's her given name)
(though her title is Reception) (and professional acclaim
Is due her) ('cause she did what needed doing). And it's done:
She opened up the schedule, slotted every single one
But, um... not many on a Friday afternoon!
All but an eighteenth of the women in the room
Had to vrooooom. For each remaining patient
X-rays were taken. Then the doctor took vacation

Why was that vacation germane to the math?
'Cause of good data policy in the office and a vast
Abundance of caution on the part of our Sally:
Eight backups nightly, automated, and the tally
Only ever shrinking when manually deleted
All of this occurring in the box behind reception so she needed
A full backup of that box, noons
These weren't incremental, so her server needs ballooned
Who deserved to flee Duluth? The doctor was in Rio
For three work weeks and another Monday just to be so
Thoroughly relaxed upon return
Have you gathered all the facts that you needed to discern?

Morning in the office, after vacatings:
Out of those belonging to the original 80 ladies
How many digital toes were in images grand total?
Your evidence so far is largely anecdotal
And you're keen to know if any had deformity. So icky!
Ten toes per customer; this puzzle: not that tricky
Key in your calc. Check your seven-segment indicator
Now add my eliteness. Notice that the sum is greater
Than expected. You still have to subtract
Two for a pair of things Sally has that I lack
I warned you it was kind of immature; I wasn't skirting the issue
Still you snicker at the calculator. "Dirty! I need a tissue."