Goddamn HIV

My name is Michael Joe Alexandre
I've been a queer since the day I was born
My family, they don't say much to me
My heart knows their silence has scorn
My friends have been dying, all my best friends are dead
I walk around these days, with their picture in my head
Spending my time thinking 'bout some things they said
And I don't know what's happening to me, goddamn HIV

And I don't know what all of this means
I don't think it means what it seems

We used to party all night 'til the dawn
I can still see the boys with their tight leather on
In the downtown bars, where it always is night
I can hang with my friends and feel alright
I was 30 years old when the sickness first came
And it rode through my world like a wind-driven flame
Leaving ashes, memories, funerals, and pain
And I don't know what's happening to me, goddamn HIV

And I don't know what all this means
I don't think it means what it seems

When I was a boy, I'd get scared late at night
And my momma would come, and turn on the light
But there's nobody here with me tonight
And I don't know what's happening to me
Sometimes at dusk, I walk the train tracks
And I walk and I walk like I ain't coming back
I look at the sky so endless and black
Man I swear it's swallowing me
Goddamn HIV