Reducing Opacity

I've been thinking about myself
About all the times i needed help
About all the times I lied
To me myself and I
Cause I'm just a whiny bitch
Who would want to hear this shit
No one cares, they just lie
Most can't look me in the eye
I'm reducing my opacity
Cause i'm not who i'm s'posed to be
I fucked up my own life
I can't fucking sleep at night
Choking on my own thoughts
Shit looks hopeful when it's not
I'll fade into the background
Serves me right cause i'm a clown
I hope you never think of me
I hope my memories die with me
I really just try too hard
too little brains and too much heart
This world isn't built for me
Or built for my stupid dreams
All i feel is envy
For people that don't like me
I'm reducing my opacity
Cause i'm not who i'm s'posed to be
I'm afraid of myself
I will never get help
I can't be trusting anyone
Cause i fuck up and spill my guts
I'm the one left out to dry
Shits over, at least I tried
Reducing my opacity
Cause I'm not who I'm s'posed to be
People are afraid of me
And I just wanna be happy
Now my life is all fucked
If you really care then listen up
Please don't try to save me
Please just keep my grave clean