Rapping the Lies People Tell on Social Media
Ha ha hahaha i'm laughing
Out loud that's amazing
Rise and grind! No days off
My ass is real, I got my loans paid off
This how I look without makeup
Every single day at 4: 30 AM I wake up
I'm so angry at all the injustice
I donated cash by the hundreds
What's this? Oh, it's my new Ferrari
It's not rented
My boobs are naturally perky
They ain't augmented
The only reason I'm naked in half of
My photos is to empower women
I don't own poses
For feminism you can DM me
And get 15% off this Detox tea
I used to date Katy Perry
Until she blocked me
I hate love, I don't want somebody, not me
I've never taken steroids
Not a day in my life
I hate fags, I could never be gay
Here's my wife
I'm not scared of black people
I don't see color
I've never said the n-word
Cuz you my brother
Oh! I love that song, it's on my playlist
I hate that restaurant though
The manager was racist
Let's boycott them and force them to close
I heard both sides of the story, I suppose
I objectively listen, I guess
I'm not overreacting
I'm not angry or depressed
If you want a good designer
You should pay me, i'm the best
If I get 50 likes, I'll be praying for you
YES! There's not a good reason I
Can't find a good date
Wow girl, your outfit slays, you look great!
I'm a foodie for a hobby, I cook steak
I met that bitch on facebook
But she's a bookface
I didn't sleep with her
Even though on Instagram this
Morning she posted
Pictures of us and we were both
Wearing the EXACT same clothes we were
Wearing to the club last time
She was licking me on my face no man
I didn't leave with her
She's not cute enough i get in fights all
The motherfucking time bro
Man I'm stupid tough
Fuck you and your strawman, argument
I'm not short, I'm a tall man
My name is Amy Schumer, I write my own jokes
I'm politically savvy baby, so woke
I'm so good
I could coach that professional
Sports team better
Than the damn head coach could
I see a fucking liberal
Hippie I'mma shoot him
I see a damn republican I'mma
Snuggle and spoon him
If a cop shoots a black person
100% of the time it was
The black person's fault
Dummy shoulda listened
Every black man should be let out of prison
Eating beef is murder! Eating meat is murder!
Go vegan! Eat a tofu green cheeseburger!
These corporations, they all lying to you
Distract you from the truth is
What they're trying to do
So what's the truth? The truth is
The government is all alien reptilian
Lizard people with blue dicks!
Kanye is a devil-worshiping muslim nazi
Illuminati! Illuminati! Illuminati!
Don't vaccinate your kids, cuz
Blahblahblahblah pharmaceutical biz
I guess I need to put this at the end
The worst lie people tell: I'm your friend