Open the Door, Richard

Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door

I met old zeke standing on the corner the other day.
That cat sure was booted with the liquor.
He was what?
He was abnoxicated.
He was what?
He was inebriated.
He was what?
Well, he was just plain drunk.
Well, alright then!

He was sure salty with the bartender.
The bartender's trying to make him by another drink.
Zeke told the bartender,
There ain't no need of me buying no drinks when everyone else is buying them.
I'm going to drink to everybody's health, till I ruin my own.

Open the door, Richard!
Why don't he know who he's throwing outta that joint?
Why I'll go back in that joint and take a short stick and bust it down to the ground!
Open the door, Richard!
But I hate to be caught out on the street like this cause I got class I ain't never used yet.
But I guess I better get on in the house cause I don't want my pastor to catch me out like this.
Open the door, Richard!

Now look at that old woman across the street,
Done stuck her head outta the window calling her sister.
Look at her and her sister saying, 'ain't that him, ain't that him?'
Yes it's me, and I'm drunk again.
Open the door, Richard!

I know he's in there cause I got on the clothes.
They can't throw him out cause I owe just as much back rent as he does.
Imagine that old woman charging us three dollars a month
And getting mad cause we 12 months in the arrears.
Come meeting me last Thursday saying,
'ain't you boys going to give me some back rent?'
I told her she'd be lucky if she got some front rent.
Open the door, Richard!

Come on, open the door.
Cause I'm standing here scratching in my pants pocket
And standing here groping in my coat pocket
And standing here feeling in my shirt pocket
And I can't find the key.
Open the door, Richard!

Open the door, Richard
Open the door and let me in
Open the door, Richard
Richard, why don't you open that door