Don’t Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll

[Spoken word prologue]
You know, I remember a few years ago
Some funny things used to happen to me
About 1956-57

At that time there was no blues scene
Or not really any kind of scene in London
I used to go out and play my guitar in the streets
And sing things with passing my hat down

I remember one particular night
I was playing the guitar in a little alleyway
Just off of Wardour Street in Soho
And I got busted by the police

This policeman come up and dragged me and my guitar
And my hat full of pennies off to the police station

Anyway, the next day
I had to appear in Marlborough Street Police Court
And it was quite a day
Police officer giving his evidence

"I was proceeding in a southerly direction, milord
When I heard strange sounds
Coming from Wardour Place, milord
A sort of 'boo-gee woo-gee' music was being played
On further investigation, I saw the defendant
Standing there with a guitar and an old hat
On the floor collecting pennies
Well, I decided that he was contravening
A breach of the peace there, as there was
A traffic jam about five miles long down Wardour Street
Wondering what all the fuss was about
So then I arrested the defendant"

"Ah, just one moment, officer
Well, what is this 'boo-gee woo-gee' music
Here we're talking about?"

"Oh, well, milord", said the officer
Getting out his notebook, obviously
Been doing up his homework
"It's a kind of jazz-rhythm music
Peculiar to the American-Negro"

"Oh! And what was the defendant doing
Playing this kind of music there in Wardour Street?"

Anyway I got off with a caution
A year's conditional discharge
But I'll always remember that policeman
And his "boo-gee woo-gee"
So don't try to lay no "boo-gee woo-gee"
On the king of rock and roll
Ho!

[First verse]
Don't tell me nothing, don't lies, a woman
'Cause all you know I've told
Don't sell me no alibis, sister
'Cause all you've got I've sold
You better leave at a-midnight a-slinking
To the one who works it out
I don't want to hear no rack-tackem squeaking
Go on and shut your mouth
And everything is gonna work out tight
If you ain't like you been told
Just don't try to lay no boogie woogie
On the king of rock and roll

[Second verse]
Don't feed me no TV dinners
When you know that I'm used to steak
I don't need no rank beginners
When it's time to shake the shake
You better pull your thing together
When you've been dusted out
And if you feel that you just can't dig it
You know you don't know what it's all about
It ain't a matter of per convenience
That's gonna justify your soul
Just don't try to lay no boogie woogie
On the king of rock and roll

[Instrumental bridge]

Don't try to lay no boogie woogie
On the king of rock and roll

[Third verse]
You weren't alive when I started to jive
So don't pull nothing on me
You didn't arrive til late '45
But your head's in '53
You got what it takes, get their heads a-spinnin'
Down by the lonely shack
But you come on just like a fool woman
In the back of a red Cadillac
You can't come across the Oxbow Bridge
Until you pay the toll
So don't try to lay no boogie woogie
On the king of rock and roll