My Past

I watch time slipping away
The skies fall calling my name
Cuz I'm not dying in vain
I feel like I've been living confined
I watch time slipping away
My dreams keep passing me by
The skies fall calling my name
And all I ever do is deny
Cuz I'm not dying in vain
The rain clouds tell me to cry
But it's life
As I reflect on my past
Pass me the bottle, let's toast
Here's to me and this mic
And this life's sorrows and woes
The 9th hour's a ghost
Passed out with the glass
And the last ounce of the 'gnac
In a glass house full of stones
Let em judge me
I ain't touchy on the subject of foes
There ain't many who love me
Fuck it, it's just how it goes
I just stick to my own
I'm sick of holding oxygen in lungs
Waiting to cop the piece of pie that I'm owed
Thank god for my soul
It kept me alive through the lows
And it wet the flower that grows
And it leapt those obstacles
Where I would've froze
And it felt impossible
Every option I could've chose
But I cracked the concrete
And I sprouted a rose
And I'm fucking proud of it, so
To those who doubted it, I'm out of the smoke
And the fog has lifted
I'm no longer slipping down on this slope
I done walked a thousand miles of this
I'm bound to this road
But I think I found myself a talisman
The power of hope
So let's go
I feel like I've been living confined
I watch time slipping away
My dreams keep passing me by
The skies fall calling my name
And all I ever do is deny
Cuz I'm not dying in vain
The rain clouds tell me to cry
But it's life
As I reflect on my past
Pass me the bottle, let's cheers
Here's to me and this piece of paper
That savours every dot through these lyrics
Here's to working through the problems
Here's to conquering fears
Here's to every solitary thought
That brought me to tears
My heart and my spirit
Guide me through the mocking and sneers
I give a fuck about my opposition
I could just hear em
Running they mouth like I ain't lost shit
I ain't got shit to shear
Got the drive
The only problem's what it costs me to steer
Growing up I had walk from my peers
Kept my chin up through the darkness
Knowing hardship doesn't stop for your fears
All the gossip and the plotting
Got me watching my mirrors
But I don't trust no fucking body
That's why I see it clear
Now I'm focused on my future
Something you could revere
Plus I don't do shit like I used to
Every move is sincere
Fans say what I say is crucial
And my music endears
Well the feeling's mutual
Here's to the years
Cuz life is beautiful
Look
I feel like I've been living confined
I watch time slipping away
My dreams keep passing me by
The skies fall calling my name
And all I ever do is deny
Cuz I'm not dying in vain
The rain clouds tell me to cry
But it's life
As I reflect on my past
Pass me the bottle
My conclusion is this
every dream I have is lucid
Every truth is legit
And pardon me for trying to do
What I can do til my skin's rotting
Inside a coffin next to Christ's cross in a crypt
Pardon me for always talking that shit
Pardon me for always writing
Bout my darkness and the hardship I'm in
Pardon me for being honest bout the thoughts that I get
When nothing's positive, it's all I can spit
Man what, you thought I'm being funny
Every bar fit the description of pain
Thought I fixed it
I guess bliss just doesn't click in my brain
Fuck it man, I'll only quit when I'm slain
Only when obituaries hold my picture
Sitting next to my name
Will I submit to loss
Until then, I'm sticking with gain
I'm just sick of playing possum
With addiction and vain
So when I pick up the mic
I feel invincible
Plain and simple
I let my spirit live through each page
And spit the misery away
I feel like I've been living confined
I watch time slipping away
My dreams keep passing me by
The skies fall calling my name
And all I ever do is deny
Cuz I'm not dying in vain
The rain clouds tell me to cry
But it's life