All That I Have Ever Lost

Venturing forth from the safety of my sickened mind

I have found you

A panacea for my sorrow

With whom close embraced I can greet the morning sun

It lessens the pain of all those lost and tearful nights

The bitter awakenings from the cruelty of dreams

Despite this my heart is not entirely at ease

For all that I have ever lost is worth less than you

I failed to hold onto it

What hope of keeping you?

Within the turmoil of this pandemonium

The joy that I feel saddens me all the more

And the strength that you give weakens me all the more

For knowing you are more than I have ever lost

And I do not know how much to tell you of this

Of these insidious thoughts that destroy my peace

Whether to bare my psyche to your scrutiny

Trust to the bravery of such an honesty

Or whether this move will give cause for you to flee

Upon seeing the emptiness and the solitude

That poisons my every waking, sleeping breath

Altering the perspective through which I see you

Within the turmoil of this pandemonium

The joy that I feel saddens me all the more

And the strength that you give weakens me all the more

For knowing you are more than I have ever lost

And all that I have ever lost whispers to me

The susurrant voices of jaded memories

The failures that tug at the fabric of my soul

Telling me that you are as good as lost to me

That one such as you is not fated to remain

And that their ranks will soon be swelled in number

Another voice to join the chorus of regret

Whose rising melody will sing me to the grave