Where’ve All The Home Wreckers Gone?

Half a decade un-hunted
At the Casual Nakedness Company
Two halves of a Rorschach test
In perfect symmetry
But I just want a woman
To try and prise me from your arms
So I can prove my insusceptibility
To all these trivial charms
I want a potential Bond girl
To ask me on a skiing holiday
After grinding up against me
Inappropriately
Just so I can apologize and wriggle away

Went to a funk celebration night
At the Keynote
Had a couple of beers
With a few alpha males I know
I threw some outrageous shapes
Both brazen and coy
Waiting to be hit by a
Blonde bombshell asteroid
I'm like a helpless woman
In the garden of Eden
Waiting for some snakeskin boots
To come and tap dance to temptation
(By Destiny's Child)
Have all the apples been eaten?

Somebody's got the Wi-Fi code
For my sexual allure
Now she won't tell anyone the password
That's so typical of her
Where've all the homewreckers gone?
Come and wrestle me to the floor

I went to the festival
And we camped in the punters' field
Like a showering facilities leads to animal instincts
To which you have to yield
Some say that was a gig we were playing
But I was prostituting myself
This is an appeal to the ladies:
Come talk to me if you don't wanna get anywhere

Yeah, woo
Come check me out
Yeah, sure, I got a girl who I couldn't live without
But anyway