Let It Go

My mama gave me up when I was four years old
She didn't destroy my body but she killed my soul
Now it's cold 'cause I'm sleeping in my back seat
Understand the spirit's willing but my flesh is weak
Let me speak, I never had a chance to dream
Ten years old finding love in dirty magazines
Miss December you remember I bought you twice
Now I'm thirty plus and still paying the price
Had a sister that I barely knew
Kind of got separated by the age of two
Same mama different daddy so we couldn't fake it
I saw my sister's daddy beat her in the tub naked
Take it serious the demons in the man's mind
The same daddy with rape charges now he's doing time
Crack followed and like daddy prison thirteen years
Haven't her but she's traded tears for fears

Shout. Shout
Let it all out
These are the things I can do without
So come on
I'm talking to you
So come on

Sex was how I made it through
Without someone to teach you love what else is there to do?
So where I'm from they call you gay and say you ain't a man
Show them you ain't no punk
Get all the girls you can
A simple plan that still haunts me even now today
Back to seventeen and got a baby on the way
No G.E.D. all I see is failure in my eyes
If you listening then remember I apologize
I was raised falling in the church
Made mistakes heard the Lord's calling in the church
After service on the parking lot getting high
Wanted to be accepted so bad I was willing to die
Even tried to tell the pastor but he couldn't see
Years of low self esteem and insecurities
Church taught me how to shout and how to speak in tongues
But preacher teach me how to live now when the tongue is done, help me

See I'm. See I'm
Soul surviver. Soul survivor
World survivor
I just wanna let it go
World survivor, soul survivor
Just wanna let it go

Jesus please on my knees can't you hear my crying
You said to put it in your hands and lord I'm really trying
You wasn't lying when you said you'd reap what you sow
Like that night mama died
Hard to let it go
You adopted me
Cared for me
And changed my name
But I cursed at you
Lied to you
Left your pain
It's not strange I can still see it in my head
To know for hours you were laying in that bed
If you listening to this record,
If it's day our night
If my mama still living treat your mama right
Don't be like me and let that moment slip away
And be careful cause you can't take back what you say
To my real mama if you listening I'm letting it go
To my father I forgive you 'cause you didn't know
The pain was preparation for my destiny
And one more thing lord let my son be a better man than me