Hypocrite

Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

You ever get some people so motivated
But slowly you feel your strength decline
Always uplifting people's soul but you're breaking
Down internally, that's what you hide
But you the power source for so many lives
You give them hope you're alive, that's why
Feel like my life is built on so many lies
But if I chose just to die, I'd

I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite

So many people using me for therapy, yeah, yeah
But truth be told, I ain't been taking care of me, yeah, yeah
But can't nobody notice it apparently, yeah, yeah
I do so well at hiding it for clarity, yeah, yeah
I mean it, no kidding, yeah apparently, yeah
My kids love me but I feel I'm failing parenting, yeah, yeah
But that's the price I pay, I guess it's fair I see, yeah
For a pharisee, yeah, call it heresy
How can I tell you, "Be sober" while drinking?
Rolling this weed up, I know what you're thinking
So positive what I wrote with my ink pen
Hero that's right, by night more so like Kingpin
Give you comfort while my soul is depleting
One justice circle, won't go to the precinct
Keep it together, it's so hard to pretend
Pull my own card like a photo ID then
I know I'm supposed to be a pillar of strength
Me and baby mama beef, ain't seen my kid in a week
The other day I drove around until my whip was on E
Put the pistol to my head, but chose to live because peep
I know I got a bunch of soldiers that's depending on me
I gotta get myself together, I been feeling so weak
But if mental health matters is the shit that I preach
But pull the trigger, then what kind of hypocrite would I be?
Question

You ever get some people so motivated
But slowly you feel your strength decline
Always uplifting people's soul but you're breaking
Down internally, that's what you hide
But you the power source for so many lives
You give them hope you're alive, that's why
Feel like my life is built on so many lies
But if I chose just to die, I'd

I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite
I'd just be a hypocrite

Though a positive mindset, my brain isn't innocent
When sub cortical structures and limbic bend a bit
The trauma we beat, but we haven't been too tentative
It's normal to reoccur as a given stimulant
Try funding this cost 'til we end up indigent
Or insufficient, broke, it doesn't make any sense
I really get flak 'cause I give so many this
Uplifting agenda, but then I feel my triggers get
Pulled and my mask goes in the wind again
So sick of losing and wondering when I'll win again
How do we spread love when it isn't in us then?
But people make it real and then within they implement
If I'm the reason why you chose to live but in the end
I didn't wanna do it, would you quit and come with me then?
It's never false hope but this shit gets intricate
I won't quit, word to Dementia, forget a hypocrite