i don't understand.

A little boy I am inside still, wishing he were back
Wishing I could tell him how I valued his impact
It won't be in vein, but Lord all this pain
It's hard to focus in, blurred lines make em straight
Feeling off balanced
Tryna use these talents
Missing his support
Embracing his guidance
Tell me why you took him, you say there is a reason
Why we burn under the sun even with spf 50
Either drought or flood, you say it has its season
But honestly I don't see growing thru this quickly
I wanna know why, all of the specifics
You say in time, that doesn't quite sit with
My frame of mind, once raw now is stained
Just wishing once more we could chill over pancakes
I wait
I'll wait
Til we meet again
I'll be missing you dang
I don't understand I don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets
I don't understand I don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets
Distracting my mind, off to work I don't wanna
Dwell on the pain that swells like a sauna
Missing that connection, think about it daily
Surrounded by people but alienated
Isolation ain't good for the soul
In long doses, but I don't wanna show
How I really feel, so I act the reel
Conceal all emotion, do not reveal
But that ain't working too well, cuz I know it builds
A tower of frustration that falls and kills
I know I gotta let it out, the cage is rattling
There's a lot of other stuff inside I have been battling
And since he left, I ain't really sure how to handle it
Lord why'd you take him, man i wasn't ready yet
He was mine heaven sent, I was broke he gave me sense (cents)
No he wasn't perfect but I loved him regardless
What am I to do now?! That's two dads gone now
Who gon teach me how to be man when I ain't sure how
Or how to be father or how to fix the sink
Or how to make a budget or how to really be
Who I'm made to be when I'm doubting every moment
See, he believed I had it in me even if he didn't show it
All the time but I remember every time that he did
I wish he was here to one day hold and love on my kids
I miss him
Can you pass that along to him
I miss him
And I can't wait to see him again
I don't understand I don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets
I don't understand I don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets
I don't understand i don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets
I don't understand i don't understand
I can't read your writings on this map
Where'd this turn come from
I didn't see it
For someone who's all truth
You hold a lot of secrets