Survive

When I die just know
I done stole shit before
I done lied to get ahead
I done had a tear shed
About to let myself go
At least three times before
I done saved a few minds and I've left some behind
I been selfish I been giving I got scars ain't no healing
All this shit is on my name writing sins not for fame
But to show you I got pain
And I'm just like you got shame
Look around I'm one to blame shit has not been the same
I look up and wonder if I'm worthy to be saved
Gota give you light and dark like I just got a fade
Know you supposed to lay in the bed that you made
But I'm trying to flip the mattress find comfort bury shade
Who am I really I'm not what I believe
Im always in the mirror trying to make out what I see
I invited demons in now they fighting me to leave
But no time for me to grieve survival what I need
Survive
I survive but its trial after trial
I survive and I thrive but I'm dying all inside
Shit not wha it seem let me tell you what it mean
Surviving by my dreams but the demons try to cling can I survive
I feel so selfish with this shit all this time I need to split
All these hard countless nights all these constant mental fights
Parts of me just won't die hardest questions be the why's
Do my friends see my tries but I'm the one that wipe my eyes
What parts of me survive am I too deep in my sin
Maybe I'll get it right with the smoke I'm inhaling
Now my mind doing the dash don't forget your little cash
That shit you putting off is coming oh so fast
I be feeling like I'm last I be fighting off my past
I be tryna make shit better life is moving too fast
Recall what I just had eating feeling like a task
The smile is on front because I use that as a mask
My effort steady climbing want to vanish like the Mayans
I look at my lil sis and imagine they eyes if I was dying
So surviving I'll keep trying my soul feel like it's flying
Sometimes I say I'm fine can you tell that I'm lying
I survive but its trial after trial
I survive and I thrive but I'm dying all inside
Shit not wha it seem let me tell you wha it mean
Surviving by my dreams but the demons try to cling
Survive
I survive but its trial after trial
I survive and I thrive but I'm dying all inside
Shit not wha it seem let me tell you wha it mean
Surviving by my dreams but the demons try to cling
Can I survive