Drivin' 'Cross Russia
Driving cross Russia in my flesh colored caddy
with my pet pig on the front seat that I call Big Daddy
And a tape in the player playing codlin' Jimmie Rodgers
and a tenant on each antenna of the Astros and the dodgers
The people all so curious they all stop and stare
I guess they never seen a pig rocking in a rocking chair
I stopped into a farm town, it looked a little like Lubbock
I met me a farmer who's down on his luck
His tractor was hitting' on two out of four
I pulled out my tool kit and into it I tore
I told him the bad news his crankshaft was gone
He invited me to dinner said my pig could come along
You take it as it comes leave it where it goes
Your quicker on your feet without a heavy load
You never know what's comin' 'til it hits you on the back
You never know it's gone until it's way on down the tracks
His wife she set the table, hot potatoes and bread
she reminded me of someone in a Tolstoy book I'd read
His daughters were pretty they had bright shiny cheeks
I could feel their eyes were playin hide and seek
He nodded to the daughter dressed in white petticoats
I swallowed so hard the bread stuck in my throat
It was time to turn it in ,I needed a little sleep
I went to to my caddy, and I climbed in the backseat
Just when I was dreaming' of a great big grocery store
I heard someone outside tapping' up on my caddy door
I knew that I's in trouble by the look in her eye
But I became an instant diplomat and I invited her inside
Take it as it comes, leave it as it goes
Your quicker on your feet with out a heavy load
You never know what's coming' til it hits you in the back
You never know it's gone til it's way down the track
The next morning at breakfast things were kinda quiet
You could hear the butter melting on a cold butter knife
The farmer gave the signal and through the door did break
all the neighbors and the relatives with a great big wedding cake
There were mandolins and accordions, vodka and wine
I somehow felt I'd stumbled across the borderline
But I accepted my fate cause I had no other choice
I heard my home state calling me in a codlin' kind of voice
I grabbed my brand new bride and I said let's vamoose
I wished her family well, as they were gettin pretty loose
I give the farmer my caddy so he could pull his plow
The boys back in the pool will never believe me now
Hitch hiker cross Russia with my bride and pet pig
That's what I got for bragging talking all big
I'll never bet my boss again that I can make it my own
I'll know better next time just to leave well enough alone
Meanwhile me and Natasha gonna jump off at this place
see if we can get distraction on the shortcut to Dallas