Mother Was A Lady [If Brother Jack Were Here]

Two drummers sat at dinner in
A grand hotel one day
While dining they were chatting in
A jolly sort of way
And when a pretty waitress brought
Them a tray of food
They spoke to her familiarly in
A manner rather rude

At first she did not notice them
Or make the least reply
But one remark was passed that brought
The teardrops to her eye
And facing her tormentor
With cheeks now burning red
She looked a perfect picture
As appealingly she said:

"My mother was a lady like yours
You will allow and you may have a sister
Who needs protection now
I've come to this great city
To find a brother dear
And you wouldn't dare insult me, sir
If Jack were only here"

It's true, one touch of nature
It makes the whole world kin
And ev'ry word she uttered seemed
To touch their hearts within
They sat there stunned and silent
Until one cried in shame
"Forgive me, Miss! I meant no harm
Pray tell me what's your name?"

She told him and he cried
Again, "I know your brother, too
Why, we've been friends for many years
And he often speaks of you
He'll be so glad to see you
And if you'll only wed
I'll take you to him as my wife
For I love you since you said:

"My mother was a lady like yours
You will allow and you may have a sister
Who needs protection now
I've come to this great city
To find a brother dear
And you wouldn't dare insult me, sir
If Jack were only here