Drowning

Jay Brannan

it's four a.m. again
father, forgive me this sin
uncomfortable in this life, yeah
i can't put down this knife, yeah

i'm carving words in my arms, baby
hey, scars are part of my charm, maybe
i need the touch of a hand
this isn't what i had planned

chorus
i need relief from this life
i wanna slip away into the night
don't wanna see the sun again
but can't get swallowed up by this tragic whirlwind
i wish the ocean was warm
i feel like drowning

i'm losing my faith in me
i can't remember the last time i felt free
from voices inside my head
when i taste liberation, they just feed me fear instead

you say i'm out of control
at least i still have a soul
no, i don't need your advice
some compassion would be nice

chorus

i can't take any more of your pills
they hold my head up
but still it feels so wrong
i can't believe the price that i've paid
for this chemically-induced, perceivably ideal, take-it-with-a-glass-of-water day

chorus

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