In Retrospect (feat. omarelenesjr)

Let's get some things out the way
Embroidery by Julie
She got the Hoops needles and threads
To sew mouths shut when you snitchin' to the feds
Chasing after the baker, Imma run up the bread

2018
I was shy on every scene
Promotion came, high school crashing like an ocean
I scrambled with my emotions
Loneliness had my life on the line
Tried to connect the dots and follow the signs
But it led me back to my decline
I dreaded walking through these white halls
Thought it would all pass, "the motion of the ocean"
A common notion
Going back to my corner, confined, ready to resign
Dining on a tiled floor wishing for the stars to align
Then an Angel came my way
I understood the message our meeting conveyed
High school shouldn't be miserable
Brought me to a roundtable with others
So close-knit like they was brothers
White is transparent, my canvas splashed with color
I found a circle unlike any other, now I never have to suffer

Sophomore year came
Gone are the days filled with pain
The present moment is all that remains
Found my circle done, befriended another
New threads of friendship had spun
Two girls, rays of light like the sun
My life is a movie and the trailer had just begun

Third years during a pandemic
False lies put into people's ears
Everyone faced with fear
COVID took lives
And death kept them as souvenirs
My demons coming after me like manuals switchin' gears
Crawled back into my corner like I was in freshman year
Went to hell and back but stood tall like a pioneer

Senior year the last straw, that's all, that's it
We were robbed a full year
The end is now near
Our last opportunity, no time to sit
I hate to admit that regrets from the past will forever linger
Harsh realities, sands of time slipping through my fingers
Can't ever go back, regret punctures like a knife, it's a stinger
I should've gone there, I do care but my shyness and fear brought me despair
I hope you can forgive me
Should've done that
I wish I could change the past
Life's all about the evolution
I reflected on those days
Made up my mind, no more holding back
Choices with no regrets
Like Nestor protecting the school from threats
I came up with a solution
And this is the execution

First the Inve$tors were born
Economics then government it was all destined, a good turn
Shout out Davis for letting us perform
Senior year over, we passed the torch
Will we make our return and continue our purge ion know either
We still pray for our enemies
They will never get the best of me
I was a joke, now you gotta take me seriously
Our tale continues, God's hand still writing our legacies

I never get it twisted, never slippin'
Always on the beat
Like Evelyn with the double E
Always off of it, forever locking in like my boy Luis
Gas pedal on life, it ain't letting up
Dashing through, like a 5.0, RIP Hector Ruiz
This new chapter foreign to me
Used to hang low
Now I'm the brightest light in the room, all up in my plateau
I struggle to find balance when I'm alone
I miss my crew, the split hurts, I hate the unknown
Got a bottle of Henny that says "empty me"
Pour it over the graves of my fallen friendly
I'm going SOLO like I'm Jennie
I'm shy as a motherfucker but when I grip that mic I create assemblies

Five roads diverged in a yellow wood
You do for yours, I do for mine yet we'll always be intertwined
I'll always have your back, wish you well on your climb
In our own ways, we on our grind
Our memory will stand the test of time
This is my final goodbye