Right Now/How Long

I'm just tryna get some closure
I can't accept that I'm the reason that it's over
Summertime, and yet my heart is getting colder
Iron-hearted through the winter, I'm a soldier
I know I called her, can't remember what I told her
Prolly cause a nigga not sober
Now mixing drugs with these feelings not the best thing
But feeling dumb because I trusted ain't the best pain
Giving love without a meaning it leave red stains
Problems bubble to the surface like it's champagne
Every other time we talk you say the same thing
Every other time we talk it end the same way
Try to talk about the talk we play the blame game
Try but nothing ever change going insane
I just wish that shit would go my way for once
I just wish that shit wouldn't go sideways for once
I get in my feelings when I think about it
Cause I know you moving on, and that's the thing about it
Did you ever really love me? baby think about it
Cause it ain't seem hard to end things right there
Trade betrayal for my love, no it wasn't fair
Shoulda listened to the niggas saying you don't care
I know, I know, your heart it need repair
I know, I know, you say that you were scared
I know, I know you got problems
I know, I know that love can't solve em
You give your love, they do you wrong, it's like a cycle
You think you better off with doing nothing, staying idle
Nothing like them niggas, and I put that on the bible
Showing you the difference with my love, girl I tried to
Doing shit together, but it's something bout the title
Let me see a nigga wit you, I get homicidal
Girl the way I feel, I wonder if you feel it too
I been down a while, so this shit ain't nothing new, to me
Funeral for the love, it was gone too soon
Who the fuck i'm kidding, it was never gone be you
My heart it like to lie, I gotta tell myself the truth, for once
You showed me all the signs, I think inside I always knew
Don't wanna cry in public, so I'm stuck up in my room
Fuck it, I hope the next nigga hurt you so you see my point of view
Talking to these bitches, but these bitches not you
I know I'm switchin up, you can color me confused
Sometimes I be talking cause they keeping me amused
But I don't give my heart cause i'm scared of the abuse
To feel this way, how long
How long, how long, how long
I just wanna know how long
I can't just cry and make another song
I've felt like this for much too long
Someone help me right my wrongs
Cause I'm tired of writing rhymes just to write my wrongs
How long imma be alone