Deep Rooted

(Rafe LaNore, Wllbur Bullara)

My trauma doesn’t come from just that ship
It goes deeper
When I was young I was already trapped
With the burden of a mother who was slowly dying from within
Naomi was stoic and cold
But I know she cared about Salvatore and I

{?}
Every day was a struggle
And I saw her power wane every day
And her mind was like a closed chest
She wouldn't let anyone in

Throughout school
I was the one who tried to get some control
I refused to let others struggle
And I got into a lot of fights
The vigilante side of me
To not let anybody
Feel pain like I

I was a hassle when growing up
All the {?}
Maybe it came from all the pain at home
I just didn't want to see anyone suffer
Then when was it?
How old was I?
Was it eight or nine?
When there was a kid that was getting bullied
There was an altercation
I stepped in
And I remember I grabbed that kid's arm
And I yanked him back
And I heard the crack
And that's when I realized
When that boy's arm had snapped
I didn't want to be a fighter no more

It's so weird having a nickname...
Everyone knew me at school
And when I had abandoned that side of me
It's like the vigilante had died

Well, things...
Some days Naomi broke further
She kept getting weaker and quieter
We didn't know what to think about half the time
Salvatore and I were stuck in the sidelines
And the disease was slowly killing her
Every day, every week, every month, every year
And all we know our whole lives was this sickly lady

Then the day our father and I
Went out for errands
While Salvatore stayed at a friend's house
When Marcus and I came home
All the lights were out
We looked around
And we saw someone on the ground
It was Naomi
She lay there broken
Lifeless
Darkness

The autopsy report came back inconclusive
But I have a reason to believe that she took her own life
Not to be a burden
But I'll never know for all
And Salvatore was the last to know
We had to call his friend to get a hold of him
And I could hear the shake in his voice over the phone

And all the trauma in my life
Starts when I was young
{?}
I don't think you really know
{?}
How could my young eyes see?
You'll never know when the last time you'll say anything to anyone again