Stock Market Blues

Hey Charlie Snob, could you make me some investments?
I wanna get the hell outta here
I’ve ordered my Mercedes
I wanna meet some classy ladies
And start drinkin’ champagne instead of beer

Now I don’t have much money
But we could work out something
I could send you twenty bucks a week
He said that’s not how it works
And just what is your net worth?
I said my net worth is what I got on me

So I called up my mother in law
Told her about the ad I saw
Guaranteeing a fortune to be made
I said I need a hundred thou
'Cause we have got to jump in now
We’ll make a bunch and split it up two ways

So I met her down at the bank
Grabbed the check and then I ran
As fast as I could to the store
Now here’s all the money
So pick some winner sunny
And call me up when we make the big score

Well I saw it on the evening news
That stock market really had the blues
And when it closed it set an all time low
I wondered where did I go wrong?
Why did this happen to me lord?
I’ve got to get that money back, you know?

Well I just sat there and wondered why
I was gonna buy low and sell it high
But things sure didn’t work out that way
I don’t know what I’m gonna do
And to tell y’all the truth
I think I’ve lost my assets today

Hey broker man, please don’t make no more investments
'Cause I would like to keep my shirt and pants
Cancel that Mercedes, I’m goin’ back to the old lady
In Little Rock instead of Paris, France

No, I’ll never play that game again
I think y’all saw me comin’ friend
And I jumped right in like a big fool

Oh I thought I’d make some money
But it’s really kinda funny
'Cause I borrowed all of it from you know who

Oh, I thought I’d make some money
But it’s really kinda funny
'Cause I borrowed all of it from you know who

Yes mother in law dear, I’m checking on it right now