Wasted Rock Ranger

Well I'm a wasted rock ranger
I live the life of danger
On the road to find a higher high
I don't need no one's affection
All I need is my injection
An out-of-tune Les Paul'll get me by

I've been doin' gigs since I was ten
I really can't remember when
I ever had a dollar to my name
My ears are blown, my eyes are red
I got big holes inside my head
Snorting too much crystal and cocaine

I have bennies with the breakfast toast
Qualudes with the evening roast
Assorted snorts of powder in between
I don't think a day's gone by
That I wasn't drunk or high
It's the only way I keep my sanity

From Kegger's Den to Hooterville
My flaming tricks have topped the bill
A thousand empty bottles earn my name
Endless trains of one night stands
Sharing gigs with half-assed bands
And all the local groupies lay the same

Well I could have had a payin' job
Workin' for some fucked-up slob
Wife and family, true security
But I left that shit behind
For that heavy metal grind
'Cause rock'n roll is in my blood to stay
(among other things)

Hey! You're a wasted rock ranger
You'll live life of danger
Sing this song and follow it till the end
When you reach number one
You can overdose for fun
And go and visit Jimi and his friends

Hey! You're a wasted rock ranger
You'll live a life of danger
Sing this song and follow it till the end
When we reach number one
Hey! We'll all overdose for fun
And we'll hang out with Jimi and his friends
Yee haw!