brothers

Our father hid a lot of painful memories
A bunch of shit he never shared
But when he died, I went out looking for them
For all the things he never said
Thought he was born in 1948, but
Was born a whole decade before
Thought he was brought up in New Zealand, but he
Was born and brought up in Samoa
We thought that he was only half-Samoan
That his mother was a German Jew
But I went found his birth certificate
And he lied about that too
Our father's love was unmistakable, and
He gave us everything he had
And I guess that meant pretending he was half-white
To give his kids a better chance

My sister, she lives out in New York City
Been there since I was seventeen
I think she hates it, but like most New Yorkers
She just can't bring herself to leave
She used to love to watch our father cooking
And imitate the things she'd seen
And now she makes the most amazing things, and
She also sings better than me
And when he died, she and her husband stayed
To keep my mother company
And even though it fucked them up a lot
They did a better job than me
And I wish that we could see them every weekend
And she could cook her famous meals
I wish that I could hang out with her husband
More than a couple times a year

Our brother Wesley is a quiet man, and
He is the second of us four
He inherited our father's hands, but
He looks like me a little more
He has a love that's unmistakable, and
He's seen police brutality
He lives in Auckland with his wife and dog, and
He stands a shade above 6'3
Our father left him with a cousin, and
He got into trouble frequently
Me and my sister only heard of him
In 2018

Our brother Matthew is a baker, and he
Stands a mighty seven feet
He was brought up in a Maori family
And speaks Te Reo fluently
He didn't know about our father till I
I guess he was about 18
He did some time for something awesome, and he's
The sweetest guy you'll ever meet
He came to meet me at a festival
He told me everything he knew
Our father left him at the hospital
But if he forgives him, then I should too

I know our father had his reasons, but that
Can never make it right or fair
I hate myself for stealing all his love when
My brothers thought that he was dead
So as I dig through the collateral
The secrets hid throughout the years
I know I'll hardly ever answer them
But it's a way to keep him near