“I Love Monster Movies” (Live / 12-10-73 / Show 2)
(What's it called?)
Cheepnis
Let me tell ya something
Do you like monster movies?
Anybody?
I love monster movies. I simply adore monster movies and the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheapness, in the case of a monster movie
Has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps. But, true cheapness is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to the jaw of a giant spider. And- I’ll tell ya a good one that I saw one time, I think the name of the film was "It Conquered the World". And the- did ya ever see that one? The monster looks sort of like an inverted ice cream cone with teeth around the bottom. It looks like a, like a tee-pee or a, sort of a rounded off pup tent affair and uh, it's got fangs on the base of it. I don't know why, but it’s a very threatening sight and he's got a frown, and ya know, ugly mouth 'n everything. And theres this one scene, where the uh monster is coming out of a cave, see? Theres always a scene where they come out of a cave at least once. And the rest of the cast- it must've been made around the 1950s, the lapels are about, like, that wide. The ties are about that wide and they're about this short and they always have a little revolver that they're gonna shoot the monster with, and theres always a girl who falls down and twists her ankle. Heh hey! Of course there is. Ya know how they are, the weaker sex and everything twisting their ankle on behalf of the little ice cream cone. Well, in this particular scene, in this scene folks they uh, they didn't want to retake it 'cause it must’ve been so good they wanted to keep it. But they- when the monster came out of the cave, just over on the left hand side of the screen, you can see about this much two by four attached to the bottom of the thing as the guy is pushing it out. And then, obviously off camera somebody is going, "Noo get it back!", and they drag it back just a little bit as the guy is going, "Keuhh, keuhh.."
Now thats cheapness, alright
And this is Cheepnis here
One, two, three, four!