Ill Wind

I once had a whim and I had to obey it

To buy a French Horn in a second-hand shop;

I polished it up and I started to play it

In spite of the neighbours who begged me to stop

To sound my Horn, I had to develop my embouchure;

I found my Horn was a bit of a devil to play

So artfully wound

To give you a sound

A beautiful sound so rich and round

Oh, the hours I had to spend

Before I mastered it in the end

But that was yesterday and just today I looked in the usual place-

There was the case but the Horn itself was missing

Oh, where can it have gone?

Haven't you-hasn't anyone seen my Horn?

Oh, where can it have gone?

What a blow! Now I know

I'm unable to play my Allegro

Who swiped that Horn?

I'll bet you a quid

Somebody did

Knowing I'd found a concerto and wanted to play it

Afraid of my talent at playing the Horn

For early today to my utter dismay

It had vanished away like the dew in the morn

I've lost that Horn-I know I was using it yesterday

I've lost that Horn, lost that Horn, found that Horn ... gorn

There's not much hope of getting it back though I'd willingly pay a reward

I know some Hearty Folk whose party joke's

Pretending to hunt with the Quorn

Gone away! Gone away! Was it one of them took it away?

Will you kindly return that Horn? Where is the devil who pinched my Horn?

I shall tell the Police I want that French Horn back

I miss its music more and more and more

Without that Horn I'm feeling sad and so forlorn

I found a concerto, I wanted to play it

Displaying my talent at playing the Horn

But early today to my utter dismay it had totally vanished away

I practised the Horn, and I wanted to play it but somebody took it away

I practised the Horn and was longing to play it but somebody took it away

My neighbour's asleep in his bed

I'll soon make him wish he were dead

I'll take up the Tuba instead!