The Freak of Enniskillen

I was born at noon time with a bottle in my hand

The midwife screamed and dropped me coz she couldn't understand

Why a new-born would be wearing ragged clothes right from the start

And instead of letting out a cry let rip a stinkin' fart

I headed for the front desk, on the way I kissed a nurse

Stumbled out the door and hijacked what appeared to be a hearse

I kicked it into gear and put the pedal to the floor

At the pub I hit the brakes, the casket slid out of the door

Go! Go! Go! Rolling down the hill

Go! Go! Go! Come and get your fill

The kindergarten playground was a bore when I arrived

But the kiddies started laughing when I taught them how to drive

The teacher came a runnin', shook her walking stick at me

I crashed the gate, we all made off, I set the kiddies free

Go! Go! Go! Running down the hill

Go! Go! Go! Come and get your fill

Not a winner, I'm a sinner

I let everybody down

And they spit into my face

I'm a king without a crown

Call me loser, call me boozer

Call me anything you want

Find me creepin', find me sleepin'

In the bars I used to haunt

The Freak of Enniskillen was a liar and a cheat

Always drinkin', up to trouble, wreakin' havoc in the street

But he never bowed his head, he never held his cap in hand

What it was that made him laugh so hard we'll never understand

He's no winner, he's a sinner

And nobody drags him down

When they spit into his face

He's a king without a crown

Call him loser, call him boozer

Call him anything you want

Find him creeping, find him sleeping

In the bars he used to haunt