Mediocre

Mediocrity hit me like a jab to the throat
I'm crying in the bathroom, scared of rocking the boat
Doing alright I guess but not good enough
Put your makeup back on
Now you're acting tough

Foundation stains, eyes red
Kinda wishing I was dead
Don't know where I'm going but I wish I was there instead

Mediocre, mediocre
Laughing at myself like I am the joker
Don't know who I think I'm kidding
But it's not me

Mediocre, mediocre
Playing myself like it's poker
Like I've lost already
Please, just take it and leave

Stare at my reflection in the mirror
Thinking oh my god, I don't want to be her
Where exactly can we go from here?

Is this what it's like to be insecure?
It's not that nice and I'm not that sure
That I ever want to do this again

Don't know what I'm doing but I'm losing
Scrutinise myself without improving
When did self awareness become such a curse? (Such a curse)

Mediocre, mediocre
Laughing at myself like I am the joker
Don't know who I think I'm kidding
But it's not me

Mediocre, mediocre
Playing myself like it's poker
Like I've lost already
Please, just take it and leave

Don't know how to talk, that's rare
Feel like I'm sitting but I'm sliding off my chair
No motivation, just isolation
If it's a race I'm out like the hare

Used to be a tortoise, slow and steady
Now I'm all on my own and I'm just not ready
Not sure where I'm racing to anyway (anyway)

Mediocre, mediocre
Laughing at myself like I am the joker
Don't know who I think I'm kidding
But it's not me

Mediocre, mediocre
Playing myself like it's poker
Like I've lost already
Please, just take it and leave

Mediocrity hit me like a jab to the throat
I'm crying in the bathroom, scared of rocking the boat
Doing alright I guess but not good enough
Put your makeup back on
Now you're acting tough

Mediocre, mediocre
Laughing at myself like I am the joker
Don't know who I think I'm kidding
But it's not me

Mediocre, mediocre
Playing myself like it's poker
Like I've lost already
Please, just take it and leave