Searching

I've been searching my heart
Going back to the start
But we've been here before
No
I told myself to be brave
For what lies in the way
I can't escape from the pain
No
No matter how hard I try to escape,
I'm being held back as they close the gates
I feel like it's concealed my fate
These thoughts like chains I need to break
Before they drag me down the abyss
I try but I can't seem to resist
I've given up, I wanna forget
How they've left me broken down like this
I've tried to get myself back up but can't find the motivation
With everything pressing down on me I feel it's overtaking
My train of thought, I feel I've lost all anticipation
For any good to come from this complication
I've put everyone else before me, when's it my turn
To put myself first, I feel like I've earned
At least something to go my way by now but I'm not concerned
That it'll skip over me, it's just something that I've learned
I wanna keep pushing thru but each step is getting heavier
I wanna break the barrier that's leaving me inferior
But the glass house inside could collapse at any second
So I'm searching for a way to make sure some part is still protected
I've been searching my heart
Going back to the start
But we've been here before
No
I told myself to be brave
For what lies in the way
I can't escape from the pain
No
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake, I want you all to celebrate
The great things that I left behind, and don't you mourn it will be fine
Someday we'll be together again, but maybe at a better time
One where I'm not hurting, I'm not coping, I'm not restless
But one where I'm enjoying life and nothing is against us
Seeing the world come together through a new perspective
That's something I wanna see can't you just respect it
I've finally let go of everything that's been keeping me here
There's nothing left to hold me down except the fear
Of leaving you behind, the only thing on my mind
I want you to know it's not your fault, I wanna make it clear
That's it's something I had to go through all on my own
Everything has shown me that this is somthing I've outgrown
Pero Con Mi Fe se que con este cambio hay razón
Y ojalá el tiempo va acomodar mi corazón
I've been searching my heart
Going back to the start
But we've been here before
No
I told myself to be brave
For what lies in the way
I can't escape from the pain
No