Bittersweet (Prod. CAI)

I gained an affinity for the drugs
'Cause you made me bittersweet to the love
Paranoia diminishing all the trust
No relations I'm listening for the lust
On all of my enemies taking dubbs
Tryna drain all my energy... what the fuck
Go beyond to infinity and above
Y'all balling little league pick it up

Is there love in the lies
Is there truth in disguise
Too much extrapolation for my mind
Wish I can take the time and just rewind
Cause It's lust and no trust so I'm looking for signs
I get too intertwined
So I'm stuck in a bind
When I look I don't find
So don't look in your eyes
I Get caught in my pride
And I read between lines
And I hate my emotions I don't let em shine
Got rivalries within my diaries lines
Lie to me make my anxiety blind
The love in me loud but I try to be quiet
Cuz I know there's no way you would vow to be mine
Fuck yo X's and O's
I got exes and hoes
Stressing depression I'm letting it go
Love is a drug so won't put hoes on hold
Cause that there's pain in the highs and the lows
I love and leave em
They talk don't believe em
No way I can keep em
I'm Caged by the freedom
I get to attached
So I wanna attack
Get lost in my thoughts
And can never get back
Feel like my wrongs have brought outta wack
Can't explain it my train has fallen off the tracks
Too many knives and scratches in my back

I gained an affinity for the drugs
'Cause you made me bittersweet to the love
Paranoia diminishing all the trust
No relations I'm listening for the lust
On all of my enemies taking dubbs
Tryna drain all my energy... what the fuck
Go beyond to infinity and above
Y'all balling little league pick it up

In this do you feel real love?
I asked you cause I'm numb from the drugs and I can't feel trust
My mindset it won't let me commit but with this, I just can't give up
All yo friends think I'm a liar and a player and a God damn thug
Don't understand that my hearts got some scars that just ain't healed up
You say I'm accepted
But still cannot give my confessions the stress and depression
You know somethings there so you question
I say that I'll tell you later cause I don't want to Fuck up my blessings sweet and u innocent
How the fuck did we get into this
We are so different
No
Hearts and our souls are the same just differ in experience
Don't want to put early ends to this
She say that she think we may have ignited a flame
But my hearts adjusted to pain
She geeking but inside I really just don't feel the same
Numb from the chains and constraints
Played too many games
My heart has been broken tried to replace it with my brain
But it's not the same
I don't get attached or depend cause I know some will hurt me again
I will not be tamed
Well there was that exception
But she just pushed me that direction
So now I don't engage in the love or trust or affection
Hoes for the lust and attention
Cause In relations I know that I got some issues and I really do not want to burden
Cause my heart's been hurting paranoid if it seems perfect
Unknown I'm expecting the worst

Friends, love, happy endings ain't made for people like me
In my eyes, there's no meaning and I need more to feel free
But I feel that my minds right if you opened up then you'd see
So when you see tears in my eyes don't fall for me let me be
Yeah