If That Ain't Country

This is a song I wrote about my father
Donald Mahan Coe Jr
My daddy passed away on August the ninth, seven years ago
This is a song about my father

Well the old man was covered with tattoos and scars
He got some in prison and others in bars
The rest he got workin' on old junk cars in the daytime

Now they looked like tombstones in our yard
And I never seen him when he wasn't tired and mean
Well he sold used parts to make ends meet
Covered with grease from his head to his feet
Cussin' the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquiters
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks
But they brung their cars for my pa to fix anyhow
Well he was veteran-proud tried and true
He'd fought 'til his heart was black and blue
And I don't know how he'd made it through the hard times
He bought our house on the GI Bill
But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to get it
He drank Pearl in a can and Jack Daniels black
Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack
And he had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes
Why he'd get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake
And there wasn't too much that he would take from a stranger

There were thirteen kids and a bunch of dogs
A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs
I spent the summertime cuttin' up logs for the winter
Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord
Workin' like a slave for my room and board
Coal-burin' stoves no natural gas
If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
I've been on the Grand Ole Opry and I know Johnny Cash
And if he ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

Well my mama sold eggs at a grocery store
And my oldest sister was a first-rate whore
My daddy said she couldn't come home anymore and he meant it
Now Mama she was old far beyond her time
And her hair was grey and I've seen her cryin'
She was talkin' 'bout junior, said he was dyin' in prison
Why she told all the neighbors he was off to the war
He was fightin' for courage, he was good to the core and she was proud
Now our house was a graveyard for automobiles
And around the porch was a bunch of old wheels
And some used Harley Davidson parts that we sold for cash

There was fifty holes in an old tin roof
Me and my family was livin' proof
And everybody called me old poor white trash
And if that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain't country, it'll hairlip the pope
If that ain't country, it's a damn good joke
I've been on the Grand Ole Opry and I know Johnny Cash, mmm
And if he ain't country, I'll kiss your ass

And I'm dreamin' tonight of my blue eyes
Concernin' the grey speckled bird
I didn't know God made honky tonk angels
And went back to the wild side of life