Halftime

[Intro]
Look at me!
Dan Bull in your area
My neck has never been hairier

[Verse 1]
All work and no play makes Dan a dull man
So I took business and pleasure, and had them hold hands
I monetise my hobbies, I like computer games
Rap music, anime to making up stupid names
Now I can work sixteen hours a day
And have sixteen hours of play
Hop in the shower and straight to bed
I make the competition shake their head
Like a wet dog in disbelief seeing what they can get
But come the best at the thing you love best
And the rest is elementary, umm yes, unless
You fail to put the work in, shirking
Jerking yer gherkin then derpin', you're undeserving
Put in the effort and see, how little effort you need
To achieve things effortlessly
It's halftime

[Hook]
It's halftime
Put the kettle on
It's hafltime
Put the kettle on

[Verse 2]
I bang the beat like a cattle drum
I quit weed when the nettle stung
But I'll never settle some
Blast with a special tongue
I want to rap on every record spun
And set a record for the rapper with the sexiest bum
Is there anyone better? Man, I reckon there's none
But genetically I'm repping my mum
That's where I get my creativity from
She done brung up a son well, didn't she, chum?
When she discovered a bun in the oven, things changed
Quit her career to rerun this kid, raised
Him to be creative, gave him instruments to play with
And pen and paper he could lyrically slay with
I know I say the word 'lyrically' too much
But that's just because I'm lyrically too much
I never keep my privileges subdued, hush
I'm not flossin', I didn't bring my toothbrush
I'm ruthless, like a convertible
Spectacularly secular, you're not convertable
I do my work in full while I'm on the doll
In adversity, I'm the first to be the one to fold
But I still picked a university, I didn't like it
Spending time alone learning this is my shit
I'm a lone ranger that'll occasionally collaborate
And grab a taste of books and open on a random page
I hate to stand on stage, I'm not a spectacle
My view on me is that perform is unrespectable
So I sit at home, building up my text of walls
I've never scratched a deck, I sit and scratch my testicles
Best of all, I can work in my underpants
The last boss I did that to denied another chance
I was out on my own, the way I like it
Spending time alone, learning this is my shit

[Hook]
It's halftime
Put the kettle on
It's halftime
Put the kettle on

[Verse 3]
Knock, knock! Who's there?
It's only Daniel Bull
That funny rapper with the cracking in his mandible
Maybe I'm becoming Jaws, is that woman yours?
I'm not predatory but she possesses stunning orbs
Ask your mother: is it sons-in-law or son-in-laws
I'm not bothered, I just want to rummage in her drawers
There's something in her form that makes me cuddly and warm
A fuzzy feeling in between my knees, I want to be adored
Hah! I'm the Ian Brown of rap, I like the sound of that
I'm the reason that they put my friggin' town on maps
So unless you pubs got some Nut Brown on tab
It's not particularly likely I'll be out my flat
I'll be at home working, putting the work in
I'm covering another thing, I'm like a merkin
That's urban for stealing the show
I'm so sorry Nastradamus for stealing your flow
I'm really feeling it though, it's exceedingly dope
But even so, I'm eager for a wee, I need to go

[Outro]
It's still halftime
To the Severn Bridge
To the people responsible for the maintenance of the Severn Bridge
It's still there; you must be doing alright
It's halftime