Shakespeare’s Got a Gun

Shakespeare's got a mail order Uzi
Shakespeare's got a gun, he’s gonna use it
Shakespeare's got a prostitute named Suzy
Shakespeare's got a gun he’s gonna use it

It seems some monkey just outside of Pittsburgh
Finally typed out Hamlet, typed out Hamlet word for word
Shakespeare's pissed off, Shakespeare's got an Uzi
Shakespeare's got a gun, he's gonna use it

Shakespeare's got a Fendеr Stratocaster
He's got the suckеr cranked, he's going to blast 'er
Led Zeppelin was never any faster
Shakespeare's got a Fender Stratocaster

He's dressed in black, he's got a Marshall stack
He dances with baboons who jump up on his back
Oh, Love's Labour's Lost, that's in the past
Shakespeare's got a Fender Stratocaster

Shakespeare's got no use for thick black glasses
Who sit and dissect tragedies in college English classes
Shakespeare's sick of words, Shakespeare's sick of letters
Shakespeare watches videos, the dirtier the better

Shakespeare's got a liquor store in Anaheim
Shakespeare combs his hair with a soup spoon
Shakespeare drinks tequila out of Styrofoam
Shakespeare's got a liquor store in Anaheim

He sells magazines, he eats cigarettes
He never says a word, he sleeps in a Corvette

Shakespeare's got a gun, Shakespeare’s got an Uzi
Shakespeare's got a guitar, says he’s gonna use it
Shakespeare's got a gun in a liquor store in Anaheim
Shakespeare's got a gun he's gonna use it