Interlude I: Milk

Long after that boy
Who brought the world joy
There arose the tale of Saint Nick
With a “ho ho ho”
And an affinity for snow
He became famous for handing out gifts!

Year after year
The children declare
The praises of Santa each season
While fathers & mothers
Fuss with each other
Over vague instructions & missing pieces

Why does ole Nicholas —
Getting cookies & milk from us —
Get ALL the focus each year?
Does he even know how
To dress up a doll?
Has he ever stuffed one teddy bear?

Let’s all be certain:
Santa ain’t the person
Who’s makin’ all those presents happen!
The ELVES are the reason
For the Christmas toy season
…are they even paid for their tinkerin’ and tappin’?!

All the screws and the bolts!
The trains and the boats!
The child-sized electrical ovens!
It really must irk
Those elves doing work
While Santa gets all the lovin’!

Workers rights gone wrong!
Where is the song
For this nimble North-Polian crew!?
Trapped in a matrix
With candy for paychecks!
And wearing those curly-toed shoes!
(Yeah, why they gotta wear those curly shoes?!)

Little boys and girls
All over the world…
It’s time to know the truth!
And for all them elves
Sitting on them shelves
Well… this here is a song for you

This is The Elf Song. It’s about elves