Tom, Dick, or Harry

(Spoken intro)
[BAPTISTA]
Gentlemen, importune me no farther
For how firmly I am resolved you know;
That is, not bestow my youngest daughter
Before I have a husband for the elder

[BIANCA]
Ah, me!

(Verse)
[GREMIO]
I've made a haul in all the leading rackets
From which
Rip-roaring rich
I happen to be
And if thou wouldst attain the upper brackets
Marry me, marry me, marry me

[LUCENTIO]
My purse has yet to know a silver lining
Still lifeless
Is my wifeless
Family tree
But if for love unending thou art pining
Marry me, marry me, marry me

[HORTENSIO]
I come to thee a thoroughbred patrician
Still spraying
My decaying
Family tree
To give a social goose to thy position
Marry me, marry me, marry me
Marry me

[GREMIO AND LUCENTIO]
Marry me

[HORTENSIO]
Marry me

[GREMIO AND HORTENSIO]
Marry me

[LUCENTIO]
Marry me

[GREMIO]
Marry me

[GREMIO, HORTENSIO, AND LUCENTIO]
Marry me!

(Chorus)
[BIANCA]
I'm a maid who would marry
And will take with no qualm
Any Tom, Dick, or Harry
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom
I'm a maid mad to marry
And will take double-quick
Any Tom, Dick, or Harry
Any Tom, Harry, or Dick

[GREMIO]
I'm the man thou shouldst marry

[BIANCA]
Howdy, Pop!

[GREMIO]
Howdy, Mom!

[LUCENTIO]
I'm the man thou shouldst marry

[BIANCA]
Art thou Harry, Dick, or Tom?

[HORTENSIO]
I'm the man thou shouldst marry

[BIANCA]
Howdy, pal!

[HORTENSIO]
Howdy, chick!

[BIANCA]
Art thou Tom, Dick, or Harry?

[GREMIO, HORTENSIO, AND LUCENTIO]
Call me Tom, Harry, or Dick

[ALL]
I'm/She's a maid who would marry
And would no longer tarry
I'm/She's a maid who would marry
May my/her hopes not miscarry
I'm/She's a maid mad to marry
And will take double-quick
Any Tom, Dick, or Harry
Any Tom, Harry, or Dick

A dicka dick
A dicka dick
A dicka dick
A dicka dick
A dicka dick
A dicka dick
A dicka dick