The Crack Was Ninety in the Isle of Man

Well weren’t we the rare oul’ stock
Spent the evenin’ gettin’ locked
Up in the Ace O’ Hearts
Where the high stools were engaging
Over the Butt Bridge, down by the dock
The boat she sailed at five o’clock

‘Hurry boys, now’, said Whack
‘Or before we’re there we’re all be back’
Carry him if you can
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Bеfore we reachеd the Alexander Basin
The ding dong we did surely raise
In the bar of the ship we had great sport
As the boat she sailed out of the port

Landed up in the Douglas Head
Enquired for a vacant bed
The dining room we soon got shown
By a decent woman up the road
‘Lads, ate it if you can’
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Next morning we went for a ramble round
Viewed the sights of Douglas Town
Then we went for a mighty session
In a pub they call Dick Darbies

We must have been drunk by half past three
To sober up we went swimmin’ in the sea
Back to the digs for the spruce up
And while waitin’ for the fry
We all drew up our plan
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Mann

That night we went to the Texas Bar
Came back down by horse and car
Met Big Jim and all went in
To drink some wine in Yale’s
The Liverpool Judies it was said
Were all to be found in the Douglas Head

McShane was there in his suit and shirt
Them foreign girls he was tryin’ to flirt
Sayin’, ‘Here, girls, I’m your man.’
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

Whacker fancied his good looks
On an Isle of Man woman he was struck
And he throwin’ the jar into her
Whacker thought he’d take a chance
He asked the quare one out to dance

Around the floor they stepped it out
And to Whack it was no bother
Everythin’ was goin’ to plan
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Man

The Isle of Man woman fancied Whack
Your man stood there till his mates came back
Whack! they all whacked into Whack
Whack was landed on his back

The police force arrived as well
Banjoed a couple of them as well
Landed up in the Douglas jail
Until the Dublin boat did sail
Deported every man
The crack was ninety in the Isle of Man