Personal (Burned Out)

My head's a little lighter now it's all off my chest
Don't mean to make a fuss but I needed to air it
I couldn't bear it no longer, no
These voices overwhelming me with nowhere to go

Say it ain't personal, it plenty personal
Been good for so long, forgot the person in it all
Play a mind game with myself to keep it in control
Categorise every distraction as a criminal

And to what end? It still ain't enough
Gave up my passion for a poisonous love
Repeat again, one more year and we're out of it
But never mending the pain that I found in it
It's astounding, honestly
I gave everything for a pointless dream
Not even my dream, but when society
Hands you a duty you damn well go quietly

Think I'm a little bit burned out
It ain't a crime to be always killing it
Be on the grind, yet it still inadequate
I hope I learn to love myself
I hope I learn to love myself

Spent so long refusing my identity
Ended up a masochistic entity
Blame the ADHD, or the anxiety,
Or the desire to please every authority
God, it's a little bit fucked up
I'm a little bit jumpy, a little uncomfy
Even when pursuing something that's always loved me

I hope my parents stay healthy
I hope my sister builds wealth, she deserves it
I hope they know I just want to make them proud of me
Even though I can't do the things they ask of me
I've had days so low I thought they'd be the end
Hang up. Let the quiet settle in my head
I hope I'm through the worst of that
That my lows never be as low as that

Think I'm a little bit burned out
It ain't a crime to be always killing it
Be on the grind, yet it still inadequate
I wanna be proud of myself
I wanna be proud of myself

It's a time to take risks, yeah I'm over regretting
You said I'm foolish, I just ain't your aesthetic
Don't scream, baby, don't you mind
I've never fit in, it's a point of pride
Say I'm emotional? Yeah I'm emotional
Call me selfish even though I always give my all
You say aggressive, I say I'm passionate
What kinda life you led to be so passionless

Cause I've had everything and watched it crumble to dust
Lost family, lost friends, lost all of my trust
A little sprinkle of trust issues
Still don't make the silence go down smooth

I abandoned it, left it stranded
Now it's suffocating me, I finally understand it, damn
Internalise it all till your words were mine
Disrespect myself, killed off my own vibe
Got no more time to be time and meek
I ain't ashamed to thrive, gonna taste so sweet