A Night in the Club

[Verse 1]
Ya boi was havin' a fun night in the club
I was groping bitches 'cause I don't give a fuck
Next thing I know I'm with a slut
But this bitch is looking at me funny, she must know I'm rich
But hey, with tits like that, she can have my money, so I say nice tits
I weren't sure how she'd take it, but she appeared to like it
So I ask her some questions like "what music do you vibe, bitch?"
She responds with "Oh, I like Billie Ilish"
And I'm thinking, "oh fuck, is this bitch 14 or summin'"?
I made her get out her ID and I saw summin'
Okay, good she's 20, can't wait to get this whore cummin'
Like seriously, I will bend this bitch over for some serious raw fuckin'
She says bye to her friends and they start laughin', I can't be that ugly
On the drive I say "yo, your ass is phat, fuck me"
By this point, she hasn't asked anything about me, I don't care
That's what I hate about a bitch, I won't share
So that makes this girl perfect, she's got yolk hair
By that I mean she's blonde and I pull it if the hoe dares
We get to my house and I can't wait so I say "Go, stares"

[Chorus]
This is what happens when you come to the club
A couple of drinks and you're ready to fuck
Or you could end up on your own
Asking to be picked up by your mum on the phone

[Verse 2]
I take her upstairs, lay her on the bed
But oh no, I remember my cat is on the floor dead
She's like "yo, why the fuck is there a dead cat in here?"
"Funny story, the cat shat in here, so I hit him with a bat in here
I slayed that pussy, so now, let my slay yours"
But she's like, "I can't fuck with a dead cat in here, I hate gore"
So I'm like "fine whore, I'll get rid of the cat"
I take it of the mat and throw it in some crap
"Happy whore? now can we have sex"
She's like "sure, but your better be best"
I reply with "I'll fuck you like your dead"
"What did you just say?" Never mind
I kiss her body and go down on her, I'm doing fine
I take her pants off but, she goes, "can we turn off the light?"
"I usually do it in the dark, but fuck it"
And fuck it, I did, we fucked for like 3 minutes
I came pretty early, but I was still innit
So it counts, I switch on the lamp so I can go clean myself up
As I switch on the light, I saw summin' that made me go "yo, what the fuck"
She's like "what?"
"You've got a fucking dick and nuts, that's fucking nuts"
She goes "Yeah, I'm a transvestite, I thought you knew"
"How the fuck would I know?, you piece of shit"
"Oh so know you're being transphobic?"
"I'm not, it's just, if you're gonna fuck someone, at least tell someone you have a dick"
But then I get a phone call from my mum
"What?"
"Hey, sweetie, as you know, you're long lost brother is visiting tomorrow"
"Yeah, and?"
"Well, just letting you know, he's a transvestite"